filthhub | Happy Halloween

Entry tags:

alley,
szel

Happy Halloween

There's a cat outside. Well... No there's two cats outside. Normally not such an unsettling sight, even if both of them were comfortably sitting side by side, just barely beyond the fence before the house.

It was the appearance of them that might be unsettling.

Pitch black the both of them, but while one kept it's massive, reddish golden eyes locked dead upon the door to the house, the other... didn't seem to have eyes at all. A pitch black silhouette of a cat, like someone managed to conjure a shadow into a full three dimensions, the only motion being an occasional, sharp flick of its long, thin tail.

Right outside Alley's house, just right there. Really it was just a matter of time, heaven knew how the pair had sussed her out so quickly, but it was still inevitable.

At the very least, he wasn't just wafting in as a fucking spider anymore, where's his award for being a nice guy?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

People kept coming and going from the apartment, likely to one occupant's dismay. Male, female, elf, human, a dwarf, the Iron Bull of course--

And after the latest round of visitors left -- three humans, two female and one male -- Alleyana followed them out the door, shutting it behind her and then taking a lean against the frame, arms folded.

"That's an improvement."

The one with eyes neither moved, nor made a sound. It was the silhouette cat that actually fucking spoke.

"Unlike some people I know, I actually understand the function of a door." He just willfully chose to ignore it, which is obviously, much better.

"Are you happy now? Can I come in or is there a dress code I have to follow now?"

Oh, good. Talking cat.

That's... new.

It actually startled the Inquisitor enough to show it, but then she rolled her eyes and opened the door behind her, walking through it and leaving it open.

"Since you asked so nicely."

Damn straight he asked nicely. There is, of course, a reason he decided to make his way over here like this. No reason he's going to say out loud, but a reason nevertheless. Midge led the way, and the moment the two of them were past the door, said door would quickly swing shut.

Then and only then was the cat guise cast away with remarkably little fanfare. One instant, a cat.

Next instant, a sharply dressed winged man and a giant fat bug.

All three feet of Midge quickly scaling his master to perch on his shoulder, obviously subtlety wasn't going to be a thing anymore with Alley.

"I see tall, dark and concord isn't here, for once." Sounded like he was making a marked effort not to run into him A and B... he's probably been watching the apartment. Of course he has.

"Where's your lumpy spud friend?" The answer better also be not here.

"Of course he's not here, I don't let the parade wander in and out of the apartment when he's here."

No need to clarify who they meant, here. Lotor's the only purple guy Alley's ever seen, at least.

"If you mean Cole, he doesn't appear to be on this world at the moment."

And oh look, Bull left presents. A grouping of several glass bottles on the table that hadn't been there at the start of the Inquisitor's meetings of the day.

Seemed like as good a time to start drinking as any. The Inquisitor picked a bottle at random from the group, and went to fetch glasses. "Drink?"

"Thank God, maybe next time I can actually show up at the door with two legs and opposable thumbs." Look, he really doesn't like running into Cole. That fucking potato left a terrible impression on him and he doesn't wanna improve himself.

Midge's eyes drifted towards the bottles, and in short order that sour mood seemed to begin to evaporate at the sight of them.

"Depends on the drink." How fancy are we talking here? He's already snagging one, lifting it up towards Midge to read.

Good luck with that, Szel and Midge. The labels were all handwritten on what very well might be duct tape. All very descriptive, too, like 'will fuck you up', 'put chest on your chest', and 'well, shit'.

Alley brought the glasses over and slid one across the table to Szel, then plopped down into a chair and started working at uncorking the random one she'd picked up.

"You do realize Cole's abilities are completely indifferent to whatever form you take, right?"

Edited 2019-10-26 07:19 (UTC)

These labels suck dick and none of them are making him feel important enough. After scowling his way through the selection, tonight's lucky winner seems to be 'well, shit', as he handed the bottle off to Midge for the bug to open.

"I'm aware, yes. But a cats body is far more maneuverable than a human." And he can't fucking fly, so cat it is. Yes he is just basically admitting his preferred choice of action for dealing with Cole is to run the fuck away.

"Who the hell labeled these." Said even as he snagged the now open bottle back from Midge to fill up his offered glass. He doesn't really care too much what it is, not really. The scent of holy water wasn't wafting out of it so it wasn't like it was going to kill him.

"So you plan to just, what, run away from Compassion?" That was a little telling, Szel. But Alley just shook her head and filled her glass. "I'm not gonna judge."

Someone here had to be reasonable.

"Most of them were probably Bull. I think that one was Varric."

".... Yes. Yes I do. It's worked great back home in a metaphysical sense, I don't see why I can't keep it up here when Compassion has a face and two legs."

The drink starts as a sip. Starts, but quickly turns into a full out chug, half the glass drained in one go.

"... The title is actually apropos." Trust him, coming from Szel that's saying something.

"You're lucky I helped him become more human. If we'd doubled down on his spirit nature, he'd be completely driven and unavoidable. On the plus side, you wouldn't remember your interactions with him."

Alley took a healthy pull from her glass, only coughing a little after it went down.

"What can I say? Varric's a wordsmith."

"I mean you say that, but I'm here to inform you that I'm not sure that'd be the fucking case here, all things considered." 'All things considered' being things he wasn't going to get into apparently, freshening his glass to the point of almost overfilling it.

"If one were human and drinking this, I'm going to say that finishing the bottle in one go would probably kill you."

"All things considered?" Why yes, Alley was going to ask.

"Well I'm not exactly your typical run of the mill squishy mortal organic animal now am I?" There's a clink, and Midge glances off at Alley's drink.

"What's the one you have?"

"I know you're a demon. But you're not a Thedosian demon."

Alley slid her bottle over and reached over to snag the one Szel had been using. Trading time.

"If you were, my point would stand. Cole's shit was strong enough to work on other spirits."

"At the risk of sounding like a complete over confident piece of shit," something that should probably precede half the things he says, "I'm not like other spirits."

Swapsies it is, draining his first glass and then filling it up anew.

"Do you have anything for pallet cleansing? Crackers? Peanuts? This is going to mess with the flavor."

That surprised a bark of a laugh out of Alleyana.

"You're worried about missing the taste?"

"It takes a lot of time, effort and focus for me to get drunk so yes, I want to taste it, and no I don't care if it tastes like floor polish.

I'm going to savor that floor polish individually from the rest of our selection of aged floor polish."

"You're ridiculous," but the Inquisitor got up, anyway, and went into the kitchen to rummage around in the cabinets. She returned with a milk crate full of more dubious bottles, and a few boxes of saltines stacked on top.

Just gonna thump this right down onto the table, here.

"Bull knows how I cope. At least, when there isn't enough shit to fight."

"I demand to be fully aware of the level of sensory misery I'm about to put myself through." Yes good, more alcohol and crackers. He'll keep any snide remarks about cracker brands he might have to himself, popping one into his mouth and, within half a second after doing so, sucking down half of his new glass of alcohol.

"You know, at the very least, if you're going to get drunk, you should spoil yourself on the drink. May as well make one part of your terrible coping mechanism seem superficially bougee."

And Alley ignored the crackers in favor of gulping down half a glass of the other half of their tradesies. "Then what's your excuse?"

Szel, no one's forcing you to drink Bull's latest abominations here.

"Don't you change the subject here, we're talking about your bad taste, not mine. I'm just saying that if you're going to devote yourself to a haangover the next morning, it may as well be done with a bottle of 1787 Chateau Margaux."

He finished his glass, again, Midge already scanning the table for the next bottle to 'sample'.

"Instead of floor polish. Seems like excessive punishment to me."

He's definitely ahead of Alley here, but then again, she has a human-equivalent body in this department and isn't trying to commit suicide-by-chug.

"A lot of my taste buds don't work, seems a waste to get something fancy."

Alley taps her armored fingers against the bottle she's working on, each claw-like fingertip clinking weirdly against the thick glass.

"So again, what's your excuse?"

"It's for the sake of show." Look, it's pretty clear he's focused on looking good, of course he'd say something like that.

"It's self-affirming to pour the good wine into the nice crystal and sip it like a king for the evening."

Bluh, he doesn't want to talk about himself in regards to this though. "Well Tannusen isn't here to talk to, which puts the amount of people I know can hold a conversation without choking on air and dying to exactly one." A pause, and he tilted his head towards Midge.

"Two."

"Such high praise," Alleyana sounded amused, at least. That gargles-with-glass voice still held subtleties to someone with good enough hearing!

And she went ahead and poured the rest of that bottle into her glass, still drinking -- just not half as fast as the gluttony demon at the table.

"I'm not that big on feeling like a noble, personally. I don't have much patience for that crap, much to my diplomat's eternal horror." Alleyana was nobility now whether she wanted it or not, but that didn't mean she was going to play at being too fancy.

Edited 2019-10-27 05:24 (UTC)

"I know, you're in the top ten percent of mortals, you're welcome." Speaking of gluttony, it'd be remiss of him to not try to drag someone into the same hedonistic pit he liked to wallow around in.

"Oh come on, who doesn't like stuff? Who doesn't like feeling good? Don't fucking lie to me, everyone likes something indulgent. Even if it's getting trashed while laying on the couch in nothing but a bathrobe. Everyone likes being comfortable."

"Nah," yep, that was Alley's entire response.

Even the armor she wore wasn't exactly comfortable, but she wasn't going to spill her sad sack of a story, even that one part.

But she went ahead and added, after a beat, "Fighting's pretty much my thing. Rage demons flock to me like flies to shit."

"... So when did you start hating yourself so goddamn much?" There, found another bottle, cracking it open and pouring it into another glass.

"There's another thing you and your brother have in common."

"Probably around when I lost him."

Whelp.

"So you've got a type, when it comes to company. I wonder why that is?"

"I mean that would do it." That doesn't sound nearly as dismissive as he wanted it too. Probably because he... wholly understands what that feels like.

"Cosmic coincidence? If you're going to punish yourself though, at the very least lie about it better."

"Shit happens," Alleyana shrugged, and popped the top off another bottle. This one, she just took a pull straight out of.

Look the glasses had just been because she had company. Normally not something she bothered with.

"Fail enough people enough times, no one's coming out of that unscathed. Don't see why I should lie too hard about it when it's no one's business but my own."

"... Only takes failing the right person once to ruin your life, doesn't it?" Yes he's concocting a theory here.

"You could go and fuck things up for an entire village, but it's an entire smelly village full of asshole strangers who could possibly fall under the 'can't save them all' umbrella.

But fuck things up for that one special person, and it's a lifetime of bad coping mechanisms and poorly lying about how fine you are."

"Those fuck me up too."

Yep. Cue Alley taking a long pull off that bottle she'd popped open.

Coping method, she's got one! Two, if you count fighting.

"Shit doesn't happen as often when there's a team backing me, at least. But, it happens. Shit, Szel, I'm responsible for all of Thedas. I'm the Inquisitor."

Edited 2019-10-27 06:24 (UTC)

"That sounds like a lot of effort for a place that, from what I've gathered, is kind of shitty." He tapped the bottom of his now empty glass against the table, Midge scuttling to grab another bottle.

"But I guess the simple fact that you live there and can't really pick up and go somewhere else makes it kind of imperative to save. No point in asking if it's worth it. But how many people are even going to keep being thankful for it when you're all done? May as well not sweat small grievances like a few failures here and there; people are, as a rule, fickle, panicky and stupid with the memory of a goldfish.

And even if you save the place, that doesn't actually guarantee that there's going to be anyone to be with you. Don't tell me you don't need anyone, that's also a fucking lie."

Alley's reply to all of that was... a grunt.

And another long, long pull off that bottle.

"But you do, because... 'duty' and all, even if it's fucking thankless." He snaps a cracker, popping a corner of it into his mouth.

"You can't fix past fuckups with present and future successes. You're not going to unfeel what you felt or forget what happened no matter how many good deeds you do or how many thankless, selfish people you save. Why bother putting in the extra effort, if it doesn't fix anything? Why not just do enough to make sure that you still have a planet to walk and live and eat and breathe and die on?"

"Because future fuckups are what I'm trying to avoid."

It wasn't penance for the past, it was trying to keep the damages minimal.

"I can't just step aside and say 'not my problem', I lost that option when I was saddled with being the 'Herald of Andraste' and suddenly all of Thedas was staring at me. If I do nothing, that's willfully letting the worst happen. I'm involved now."

"Well you didn't ask for that, did you?" He couldn't continue without an answer, but judging by the words she used to describe it...

"Did you walk up to the head dick in charge and demand to be made herald? Or did the title barrel into you?"

"The latter," Alley confirmed, "I stumbled out of the Fade with the Anchor burned into my hand, and damn near every human decided I was their newest holy prophet, sent by Andraste herself. I wanted to vanish at that point, but the Anchor made it impossible. I was the only one who could close the rifts in the Veil. My left hand was the key to lock shut every hole in the sky."

"Well then that's the one thing you're required to do." He taps his fingers against the bottle lightly.

"But you don't just close up the holes and let the pieces fall where they may, I'm going to guess."

"Of course not," Alleyana set the bottle she'd been drinking from aside, feeling about at her limit on the booze. At least, if she was going to keep chatting with the demon in her apartment.

"I was roped into becoming the Inquisitor, a beacon to rally everyone behind... my advisors literally ambushed me with the title. And now, that's what I am."

"Well what's stopping you from closing sky holes and sending all those rallied, fickle, panicked pinheads off to do the rest of the heavy lifting for you?"

"Other than an aversion to time travel? The official Inquisition's been disbanded, we did what we set out to do years ago."

Of course, that hadn't stopped the world from needing saving several more times by the Inquisitor and her comrades between finishing that first goal and the disbanding of the organization. And it sure didn't stop it from needing her now, to stop Solas.

"But I'll always be the Inquisitor, that's not something you retire from."

"Even if you hate it?" There's a snort, someone is both finally starting to feel the effect of the alcohol, and beginning to understand the exact kind of brick wall he was beating his head against in this conversation. Midge snags another bottle, the insect's dinner plate sized golden eyes hazy and unfocused as he passed it to Szel.

"There's really no point in having a Hell if you make all your living life just that."

"I don't hate it," Alleyana shrugged, and leaned back in her chair.

It had to be the booze, because normally she wouldn't discuss this kind of shit with someone she barely knew. But, here we were!

"I've always been the kind of asshole who takes on responsibility. That includes for other people, I hold their feet to the fire and I make them do right. Or as close to it as I can, anyway -- it's not like I'm morally pure either."

But being a criminal guard and enforcer for all of her formative years was still vastly different than, say, someone enslaving whole groups of people like Alexius had tried to do.

"People I can't make act right, I stop. That's me, that's the Inquisitor. Having the rank thrust onto me just took what was already there and amplified it. Would I have had a very different life if I wasn't such a busy-body? If I wasn't drawn to responsibility? Sure. I know I'd sure as hell be a lot less mangled. My hands would still work, my nose would probably even be straight. Would I be happier? I don't know, because I wouldn't have been me.

"And I'll bet you that my world's Tannusen wouldn't have been happier. Or Shianni, who I rescued from a bunch of shemlen nobles trying to force themselves on her, slaughtering every armed guard on my way. Or Ranier, who'd have been executed in Orlais. Or Bull, who would have lost his personhood and become just a cog in the machine of the Qun without me to drag him out of it.

"Does the weight of all this responsibility try to crush me sometimes? Absolutely. But I'm the Inquisitor," this came with a slap of one armored hand against the table for emphasis. "And I wouldn't want to be anything else."

Edited 2019-10-30 03:46 (UTC)

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Happy Halloween

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject